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2003-10-12 - 12:41 a.m. MmmmmmmUSHROOMS! My blood is blue Jello�. I'm watching Get Shorty on Now TV, the local god station, and they've muted all the vulgarites from the well written characters. I'm farting out my own dub with every pause. "And I don't give a..." "RUMPLESTILTSKIN" "...where you get it from..." WINKLE! OVARIES! TYMPANIC MEMBRANE! A rain of shoes and curses fall upon me like prophecy, but it is ineviable. My timing is impecable, my voices straight from Iron Chef. I must go. Shorty just told a guy to keep his xylaphone in his pants and slippers have mutated into heels. I must see what wants, these Wolves in the Walls. 0 of you fuckers have been accounted for. 2003-10-09 - 12:56 p.m. Broken'd Logic. I pulled a short thread from my notes and was shown that I am INDEED cynical on 3 of 4 accounts, so before I continued in my defence of the syllogism that realism is not cynicism, I looked the definitions up in my big-assed and tattered dictionary. cyn�i�cal �� (�P�)��(sn-kl) adj. 1. Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others: a cynical dismissal of the politician's promise to reform the campaign finance system. 2. Selfishly or callously calculating: showed a cynical disregard for the safety of his troops in his efforts to advance his reputation. 3. Negative or pessimistic, as from world-weariness: a cynical view of the average voter's intelligence. 4. Expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity: cynical laughter. I am entirely three of those four definitions. Which one I'm not is debateable. My ignorance of the term was a false variable in my argument and have been shown as much. Thank you, Mme. Kate1211. A small thread that unravelled into an entirely new sweater. Cynical Realism. Fucking brilliant. 0 of you fuckers have been accounted for. 2003-10-07 - 10:04 p.m. I Got Your Politeness...IN MY PANTS. Believe it or not, the people who frequent my occasion would freely tell you that I�m everything morally deficient and perverse � violent to the point of miscreanism. But one thing they wouldn�t say is that I�m impolite. Seriously. I hold doors for women, help with strollers, say please and thanks or bow when it�s warranted and lash out viciously at drivers who choose to fuck with the Sanctity of the Crosswalk (ed: there�s a few stories in the latter, I�ll be telling those when it�s time). It�s all in the name of Common fucking Civility - really the only thing keeping our 1st world society from degenerating to our genocidal 3rd world cousins. Today, I was walking home from the job and saw a bright yellow �cyclist� getting his balance to bike across a flashing red hand. I quote �cyclist� because while he was all resplendently garish and faggily spandex-ey, the �uber-cyclist� was soon to prove that �looking good� doesn�t fucking mean �being the Shit.� As I was saying, he was sauntering down the crosswalk and he begins to yawn. The stupid bastard covers his fucking mouth with his only free hand � the one not holding the handlebars and the water bottle � and falls shoulder first into the pavement. FUCKING OW. That shit was going to leave a mark. Y�wanna know what made me go back to see if he was OK, when I should have been pointing and laughing my fool head off at the utter stupidity of the act I�d just witnessed? I didn�t laugh because the silly cunt�s first instinct was to cover his fucking mouth rather than stay upright. Regardless of the risk to his fucking person. Politeness over posterity. We need more stupid bastards like him. Lighter on the stupid, though. Chivalry? FUCK chivalry. I fucking dig holding doors and x-ray grinning at chicks. 0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.
Glenn Reynolds Says
"Gon' git me some KY and do me some GOB's!"
Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!
Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!
Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!
Y'can't Keep a Fringe Man Down. - 2005-08-03
So Long, Fucko's. - 2004-02-02
Feedback. - 2004-01-31
Chapter 1 - Clang-Bang - 2004-01-30
The Tattooed Infant - 2004-01-29
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