2003-10-30 - 11:34 a.m.

Right. Fucking. Now.

Welp. That was a shorter hiatus than I�d expected. General consensus��What the Fuck?� Trust me, peoples, trust me like you trust the sunset for I�m The Son That Sets on All of You � there�s an ulterior motive in EVERYTHING I do.

See, I don�t like feeling that flavour of angry. Hate it. I feel I�ve risen above all that shit that bogged down my past and when the Old Ghosts perculate up through the sub to the conscious�it reminds me of how I once was. Really fucking angry, all the fucking time � relentlessly.

I was dealt a shit fucking hand as a kid and wore it like a fucking suit of armour. It was WHY I did what I did, it was my excuse for all my fuck-ups.

It was a long fucking time before I figured out that I was full of shit. It took me getting to a place in my life where I like to see that, yeah, it was all worthwhile.

I yam what I yam because of all the shit I went through. I have nobody to blame and few people to thank for it to boot. Over the years I�ve adopted a philosophy of the present - the past is gone and the future�s unknowable so the present is all that matters.

Anger is as necessary as love. There needs to be �anti�s� of everything in your life in order for you to appreciate shit. It�s like me moving here to Vancouver and being blown away DAILY at how fucking beautiful my City is while the natives here, who don�t know any different look up and say, �Yeah. They�re mountains. Yup That�s the ocean.� It�s why Vancouveronians complain so fucking much about the weather. Natives here have never seen what a 13� snowdrift looks like or what a week of gales can do to an Atlantic Canadian storm.

I�ve noticed that in life, it don� rain�it fucking pours. Money comes all at once, it never trickles in, good times roll in like an 18 wheeler and the bad times�ll bog ya down like a field of raw sewage. Feast or famine. Sine waves. Ride the fucking crests while you can and flounder through the lows till you can see the shoreline again.

Don�t blame your past for your present. Get the fuck over it. There�s only one fucking time that matters in life and that�s NOW. How is the NOW going to affect the future? How the fuck are YOU supposed to know? There�s a turn in the road ahead and there�s fuck all you can do about it, but get ready and rest assured this prairie stretch�ll last but a goddamned heartbeat before you�re tits deep in shit again.

How you planning on handling it? I�d get ready for whatever may come in the present and handle it not a goddamned minute before I get there.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.