2003-11-18 - 4:32 p.m.

"Snatch the Pebble? FUCK THE PEBBLE! I'LL GET ME A FUCKING ROCK!"

Passed a 4 hour test today in Kung Fu to advance to Brown Belt level and hence Pai Yu Shih (pronounced Pie You She � my apologies to Chinese speakers everywhere). Pai is the �big boy�s� class where you go from Squatting Puma to Crouching Fucking Tiger.

Needless to say, it takes a FUCKLOAD of time and effort. More than I�m willing to allot.

So after 4 hours of the most strenuous workout I have ever experienced (and I�ve had a few in over 2K hours) � one that pushed me several times to the point of nearly passing out � I sat with my Sifu in his office, him congratulating me on my test, bla bla bla � Pai class starts next Friday, you�ll be expected to teach xxx amount of hours of classes a year, oh, and it costs X thousands of dollars � but that�ll cover all your training to Black.

I expected this and already knew how this meeting would end - even before I told him that I really didn�t want to move onto Black. That my days are full enough that I don�t want to take on the added responsibility of Teacher. Told him that I�d like to keep training, and sparring and taking the �Styles� classes, but I didn�t really care about getting to Black.

And it�s true. I knew from the beginning what it�d take to get me to Brown, and knew that once I got there, I�d know as much as I planned on learning. In the beginning, I knew that: hey, maybe this WILL change my life forever and I�ll stick with it.

It DID change my life and for the better. It focused me and taught me to pick my battles. Kung Fu learned me that in a storm a great oak will snap where a willow will bend. I learned more than I can convey, but I knew that if I didn�t go onto Pai, I�d not be training there any longer.

And that was the reply. It�s a school afterall, you can�t hang out in Grade 10 just because you like it. Sifu tried to convince me to stay, said I�m a Tiger but could be a Dragon. Said my reflexes and kinesthetics make me an exceptional Kung Fu man. I don�t know how much was sunshine up the arse and how much was sentiment, but I know that my kung fu of Kung Fu is good.

Good enough for me. I don�t wanna be Jet Li. I don�t have the devotion or self control to be a Bruce Lee. I learned some life-changing shit and am happy and honoured to have had the opportunity.

But it ended there with me passing my belt back and signing secrecy releases and whatnot and walking out of the Temple all red eyed and puffy cheeked, veins in my arms bulging like the smallest part of a Marvel superhero�s wrist � all from the 4 hour workout, naturally.

So closes another chapter. I�m not mad. There was no yelling. It was just time to move on to different things, different chapters. Life�s like that. And there�s no use dwelling in the past because while it is WHY you are where you are, it isn�t WHO you are. Take the good shit with you and have no regrets.

I like to think I follow this philosophy, although when it comes into play on days like today - that I DO believe this premise surprises even me.

Ah well. Maybe I'll look for a Kali Escrima class...

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.