2003-11-21 - 8:06 p.m.

Slack-assed Bitches.

What's WRONG PEOPLE!?! Ain't nobody writing fuck ALL lately! Get me fucking hooked then stop fucking writing. Cunts.

Entertain me.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-21 - 2:11 p.m.

"New KFC Chicken Rings!"

Escuse me? Chicken rings? Now that can mean one of two things:

1) Blended, ring molded chicken slurry, boiled and breaded.

or,

2) Chicken arses. Which would be a case of reality imitating fantasy, nee: Wolf Nipple Chips.

It's bad enough that Kentucky Fried Chicken had the verve to change their name to an anachronism to weed the �Fried� out of their ever-thinning American market, (eh-huuu-ehe-huhhh�Hey Murlene! I made a funny!) and it�s not bad enough that they grow massive centipede like abhorations � multiply segmented animals with dozens of pairs of breasts, wings and thighs.

Nooo..now they gotta feed the masses chicken rings. I can just imagine that pitch:

�Ok, ok, ok�the name was good, we�re back on track, so�you ready for this? Are ya? You don�t look ready, Boss. Nod if you�re ready to have your fucking thong blown off! OK? OK, get this�now I know that sooner or later they�re gonna catch onto the PoultryPedes� and they�ll shut it down, but get this, Boss�ya ready? We comply.�

�Comply.�

�Yeah, comply. We take all the PoultryPedes� and we blend them up in a mixer. We pour THAT stuff into ring-forms, doo-de-doo-dee-doo,� creative director pulls veil off of easel, �BAM! Gentelmen, let me introduce you to the Chicken Ring, the latest and greatest leap in Poultry Geometric Engineering since the Chicken Finger.�

�But they�ll run out. We can�t blend all our chickens for rings.�

�RIGHT YOU ARE! But we still need to kill the birds, right? But what are the two things on that bird we don�t use?�

�The snouts and assholes?�

�Exs-actly. We phase in the assholes. They become our new Chicken Rings.�

�But a chicken�s arse is about the size of a pencil eraser.�

�We grow bigger chickens.�

�Now we�re talkin��.�

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-21 - 1:06 p.m.

The Girl Who Spoke Only in Titles.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (12:56:31 PM):���So I don't know if I told you this but The Girl Who Spoke Only in Titles is gonna be told like a Fairie Tale and woven into The Turning Game.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (12:57:34 PM):���As a baby, her family was kilt by mad wolves and the baby was thrown down a hole. She was found by a dark gnome days later - an crazy old alchemist who kept her as his Cinderella.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (12:58:13 PM):���Dark Gnomes are forgotten concepts and exist to only a few people, but they're deep down, and digging, and hate all things of the surface.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (12:58:50 PM):���But this human kept a good house. So the alchemist hid her and clothed her and taught her too read and work his library.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (1:00:32 PM):���And from there it goes, turns out the gnomes are from the Forgotten God and were brought to life by Loki/Yaweh.. There's one of the 4 Brood Children down there with them, the protagonists get wrapped up with her and she becomes a character.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (1:00:36 PM):� The End.

Pimpy Long Stawkins says: (1:03:52 PM):���Of course there's some in between, too.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.