�

Glenn Reynolds Says

"Gon' git me some KY and do me some GOB's!"
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2003-11-21 - 11:28 a.m.

One Of The Best Happy Movies Of All Time

Shrek.


Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.


old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-21 - 9:51 a.m.

BAD SANTA GOOD!

Hey, Murleen! The Tee Vee just made me laugh!

BAD SANTA! BAD SANTA! I RYKIE, I RYKIE AROT!


Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.


old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-21 - 9:45 a.m.

Jonsing fer Jesbus

The song "Right Here, Right Now" is the season's theme for K-Mart advertising. A Christmas song written by a band called Jesus Jones. Heh. Wonder if they knew that?


Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.


old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-21 - 9:27 a.m.

Homer Might Be Onto Something...

It was fun and now it�s yesterday�s tomorrow.

So I buckled and watched the news today. Well, I watched Fox news and mainly looked and the blonde with disbelief, as I can�t really fathom watching this show daily. Americans MUST watch it because it has commercials. And it�s still on. And I think I still may be just a little high.

Worst part of it all, is that I left the remote on the other side of the loft to come hack this entry out and am too lazy to change TLC�s A Make Over Story. Focus, Son, focus.

So the news, I�m sorta outta the loop. We get this worldwide intranet message from the Italy office yesterday about some devastation somewhere. Never heard of the place.

I�m flipping through the channels this morning and see that Ted Kennedy�s kicked it? Was I correct in seeing that? He died on the anniversary of JFK�s de-doming? That�d be coincidental.

So why did I stop from noticing the news for a week? Last week I was so thoroughly disgusted at how fucking NARROW the people I work with are and said to myself, �Fuck it. What would it fucking be like not giving a shit?�

I knew I�d always give a shit and couldn�t just stop, so I compromised with myself on a self-imposed total current events blackout. For a week, the only TV I watched was Temptation Island, Trading Spaces and the like. The only section of the paper�s I�d read was the fluffy sections.

Shit slipped in every now and again, I did pick a couple things up. Like our PM handing the Liberal reigns to Martin, our next PM. See, this guarantees Martin time as PM because Chr�tien (no, Dub�it�s Kret-Yen, not CRETAN � and yeah, he once said the latter) will resign and the leader of the Libs will take over ruling our tundra�s until the upcoming election where Martin will win hands down because Canadian politics is a very poor-man�s version of British Parliament. Sure, we have accents too, but you ever hear our leader speak?

This Hour Has 22 Minutes �wait, 22 Minutes needs a sidebar.

Sidebar: This Hour Has 22 Minutes is a satirically hilarious news program. It�s everything news should be. That�s why it�s the number one news program in the country, because if there�s one thing you should know about Canadians it's that we don�t take ourselves, as a Country, very seriously. We like to make fun of ourselves. Not as much as making fun of Americans, but it�s a close second. The Daily Show is as close as you Yanquees have to this, but it's a poor man's version with a great host.

Rick Mercer used to do a segment called �Talking to Americans,� and he�d do just that. He�d go to the States and ask Americans the most ridiculous questions like that of a Harvard Poli Policy Professor:

�Of course I support the invasion of East Timor and West Edmonton, if that�s what�s been determined we should do.�

�Especially the West Edmonton Theatre?�

�If that�s where attention needs to be focused, then yes.�

Rick�s punked both Bushes, Senetors, Governors and droves of citizens with questions like,

�Up in Canada we don�t use a 24 hr clock like America does, we have a 27 hour clock.�

�27 hours?�

�Yeah, Metric, it�s a French thing, y�know��

�Hehehe�yeah. You should change to American Time.�

If you can, watch it. Fuck. Where was I? Oh yeah, so I stopped watching news fer a week and y�know what? I can understand why people don�t fucking WATCH the news! There�s a sort of peace that comes with ignorance (being bliss and all that) that awareness does not proffer.

I don�t like it. It�s unsettling. It�s like what Charlie must have felt when he realized he was getting stupider and stupider (those last 3 words was tongue in fucking cheek, Snapperheads).

Fuck. The 22 Minutes sidebar took the write the fuck out of me. Screw it.

Go chew a foreskin.

One more thing: It never ceases to amaze me when I run out of things like: an entire gumball machine-fulla Jelly Bellies or a pack of 100 rolling papers or an ounce of BC�s Best or Calabria coffee beans�no wait�there WAS coffee last time I looked, my Keeper has just neglected TO GET MORE LEAVING ME FUCKING STRANDED WITHOUT A FUCKING BEAN TO TAP THAT CAFFEINE FIX! FUUUU-KERRR.


Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.


old shit. - newer shit.


Y'can't Keep a Fringe Man Down. - 2005-08-03
So Long, Fucko's. - 2004-02-02
Feedback. - 2004-01-31
Chapter 1 - Clang-Bang - 2004-01-30
The Tattooed Infant - 2004-01-29

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