2003-11-22 - 10:52 a.m.

FUCKIN' FUCKERS, AGAIN!

I�ve not slept in on a Saturday in as long as I can remember. I don�t really mind, as I get older I hate wasting the day sleeping, but that�s NOT the fucking point. Nearly EVERY Saturday I get woken up by shit NOT of my own accord. THAT, my encephalitic readers, makes for an ANGRY fucking SONrise.

Now it�s different when my Woman wakes me. How can you get mad at someone making coffee, or dialing a phone, or watching some TV in a loft? Ya can�t. Well, I TRY not to. It�s when it�s the cocksucking snapperheads in the loft above me wake me up that I get pissed.

This morning was one of those fawk�in mornings.

This weekend morning, at 8:30 in the AM, the stupid bastards upstairs decide to drop shit on their floor. What kind of shit, you ask? I don�t know. There was a fucking CEILING separating us. But I can say it was shit that ranged in weight and density from that of a pen to a fucking bank safe.

And then had the fucking audacity to STOMP up and down their iron stairway in BOOTS. I swear to fucking Dog that they were wearing cement shoes.

And that�s what I considered as I lay there in my bed staring at the ceiling, heart pounding because not only was I awakened from my slumber by the noise, I was STARTLED�not what you wanna do.

So they keep this shit up. Even after my warning:

Sidebar: I don�t know if I wrote this, but I�d went up a few weeks ago and asked him politely to stop DROPPING SHIT or partying on our heads at obscenely early and late hours. I, at this time, cautioned him that I�d already talked to the surrounding tenants and they�d OK�d my �kicking the hinges off his door,� if he keeps at it. He took the caution well, and had complied. He partied and shit till 2:30 this am, but what�s a brotha� to do? S�Friday. Party away.

But for some reason, he had a brain fart this morning. And he aroused an angry Son. So I stomp my shit up to his floor and hammer his door,

DOOOM - DOOOM - DOOOM - DOOOM � DOOOM.

No answer, no noise. Just like last time. So I hammer again,

DOOOM - DOOOM - DOOOM - DOOOM � DOOOM.

Still no fucking answer. So, like last time, I stand to the side of the door, out of range of the sniper�s hole. Five minutes later he opens it to see if I�m there.

I am, and this time I didn�t take time in the stairwell to cool my shit. No, this time I stood beside his door heating my shit and tempering my shit and the had the time to go over that shit to make sure I keep on a track that won�t lend to charges or justifiable building complaint.

So I step up, nose to chin (I�m only 5�7�, this guy was tall, but a burnout) and say, �Are you moving today?�

�Uh, no?�

�Have you received a large shipment of furniture today?�

�Uh, no?�

�THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DROPPING PIANOS AND PENS AND STOMPING, WITH FUCKING BOOTS ON, UP AND DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS ON MY FUCKING HEAD AT 8:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?�

�Uh, sorry, Man, I didn�t realize��

�BULLSHIT YOU DIDN�T FUCKING REALIZE. I came up here a fucking month ago and warned you what would happen if you persisted in this shit. The building�s complained, you don�t fucking listen, so listen right fucking now, scrape the fucking bong resin off the inside of your fucking skull and listen good.

People around here? Pissed off at you. They don�t like you or your drunken loud-assed girlfriend. I don�t know you, but I�m leaning with yer neighbours.�

�Liste��

��no, Sparky�you�re listening and I�M FUCKING TALKING, GOT IT?�

�Sorry.�

�I�m gonna explain this calmly and plainly so you can fucking understand. Your floor is my goddamned ceiling. There is no sound insulation separating us, it is a ME-TAL-FU-KING-FLOOOOR. You turn my goddamned life into a sub-woofer, I�m gonna get mad like I am today. And I�m not gonna complain to the building, I�m gonna do as one of your neighbours said for me to do, �Kick the fucking thing �till it bends. Ya followin� me here, Sparky?�

�Sorry, Man. I-I�ll be more careful.�

�Yeah, for a while. But I think you�ve the memory of a goldfish so I�ll be up here again. Next time�answer your fucking door. Don�t be such a pussy, s�just bad form for a man.

And that was that. Good Mornin� Vietnam.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-22 - 9:50 a.m.

That's One Acting Motherfucker.

Y'know who are underappreciated actors?

Giovanni Ribisi and Michael Rappaport.

And every goddamnded woman on this blue fucking earth.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.