2003-11-26 - 1:35 a.m.

Picket Fence Wanting Motherfuckers - ALLA'YA!

I love the movie Chasing Amy. Just finished watching it again. SHE is the perfect girlfriend, yeah {lick the fingertips - *THWak* - talk to the Big Bad Wolf, Honey...}. Ben Afleck was such a twat in that flick. Super Twat. Great fucking flick though. Kevin Smith is King of the Fucking Monologue.

That being said, and as I re-write this paragraph, I think Kevin says something very clever in telling the story. The story seems to be about two people who are everything each was looking for in the other and true love prevails all sexual boundaries and blah- blah- blah- blah- blah.

Bullshit. The movie was saying that if you stick two people with the all the same interests in an empty locked room, it�d be a matter of hours before one of the pair ended up with a toothbrush shank in their throats. FUCK OFF. It was a metaphor.

Life with another YOU would be fucking monotonous - BORING. Well, YOU boring, not ME boring. Life with me would be week long coke and oral sex binges, because y�know, I bet I�d smoke a mean pole.

But I digress. People seem so fucking hung up on finding the right fucking person�who the fuck are YOU to know what your Right Person is? I can guarantee you don�t know everything you need in another person because some of that shit is shit you don�t fucking have the ability to POSSESS and have probably never even considered!

Ms/r. Right? FUCK Ms/r. Right. That shit is older than a Fairy Tale fart. People need other people to challenge them and push them to fucking move in directions they�d otherwise not have thought of.

And fuck Dr. Phil while you�re at it. Fuck �im in the skull. Even I can write this shit.

Son Shade, �Sensitive Fucking Guy�, Esq.

Epilogue: Entry 100. No Kubla (I'd originally said Gengis) Fucking Khan, but not bad fer a couple of months, if I do say so. *pat on the back dance*

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-11-25 - 5:23 p.m.

The Super Value Bonus Extra Cool Movie Deal

Y�know, I�m not very good with numbers. Economics is not one of my strong studies. And even if it could be it wouldn�t be because it�s so fucking DRY. If I don�t understand Economics then I really don� understand the Super Value Tenet of Consumer Microeconomics.

Here�s what I mean:

I go up to the corner movie joint to smoke a joint and rent some movies. Jesus Fucking Christ. I�ve been talking like Dr. Fucking Seuss since the mushrooms on Saturday.

Note to Self:Must stop this. Hard to be taken seriously if one is expected to sing like a Hoo at any moment.

But I digress.

So I take Soul Caliber II back � three days late, of course � and rent Finding Nemo and Dogma, go to the counter and it comes to $18.00 and change. But, the video jockey explains to me, if I pay six more dollars for the Super Value Bonus Extra Cool Movie Deal I can get four free rentals.

So let me get this straight. I get six free movies including these ones and three days of late fee rental charge for six dollars more than what I�m paying here?

�Yeah, cool, huh?�

�NO IT�S NOT FUCKING COOL, HUUUNGH? Why don�t you just LOWER YOUR FUCKING NORMAL PRICES, HUUUNGH? Why do I have to pay SIX fucking dollars FOR WHAT SHOULD BE A REGULAR CUSTOMER PERK? AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS, PEOPLE THINK YOU�RE DOIN� THEM A FAVOUR! FAWK ME!�

�So do you want the Super Value Bonus Extra Cool Movie Deal then?�

�FUCK ME! Jesus. sigh. yeah. Some of that $3.00 popcorn too.�

It's the little things that make me lose it. I'll be up a fucking bell tower with a rifle over a fuck up on my phone bill, I know it.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.