2003-12-01 - 10:55 p.m.

I LUHHHHVVS M'uh ENTRAILS!

Y�know. There�s really something to be said for living by yerself, other than this, GLORIOUSLY carpal tunnelly celibate sojourn that these past two weeks have been, that is.

I mean, come on. I�ve been eating out of the same Chinese Food and pizza boxes fer days. I am utterly unconvinced that a $10.00 highball glass is any more useful or convenient than say, a plastic 2 litre pop bottle or say, a measuring cup. Sure, the glass is fine fer when the jug is too full, but why bother later on. And if ya don�t wanna make for the 2L jug, use the Pyrex measuring cup for easy, well�measuring.

And then there�s the being high ALL the time and watching ONLY the shit I wanna watch and ordering pineapple and anchovies on my pizza. Pig snouts.

And shit with the door wide open. You just let that stank all OVER the place. Because you can.

Another cool thing about living alone is that the toilet seat is NEVER down. In fact I�ve taken the fucker COMPLETELY OFF! I squat Turkish-style now � JUST. FOR. PRINCIPLE. I�ve considered wiping me arse on the �fancy towels� just to know I did. Of course I�d wash them. If I ever did it.

Now FUCK OFF from here, pathetic fucking carrion fowl! Let me to my tripe and tendon pho�I just love it when the tendon gets caught in my eyeteeth. More Canine than canine. They�re quite fang-like, really. My teeth, that is. Not the pho. Although these entrails could be dog and I'd not know the difference. Ah well. Tastes fucking great and if I ever found out it WAS dog? I'd order it again, it's that good.

As a later thought: I forgot all about the utter freedom to walk around with the blinds wide open, butt neked with big ol' morning wood! TAKE THAT VANCOUVER! AH-HA!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-12-01 - 7:06 p.m.

I Don't.

I still don't know who the Hilton's are. Other than a Montreal mafia name. I heard all this shit (and received a maggot choking glut of spam) about a "Paris Hilton" video.

At first I thought, "Who fucking cares? Another peephole scandal. I've been to the Paris Hilton and it wouldn't fucking surprise me. So after a couple of spammy weeks, I checked it out last night.

And still I'm thinkin', what's the fuckin' deal? It's panzy amature porn at best. Bad night vision, she wouldn't stay fucking still for the fucking cell calls and fixing her fucking hair. Christ. If I were that fucking guy, I'd have had her face down in one pillow, ass propped up with the other...aaannd-i'da-been all in 'er ear,"You are the worst dead trout of a fuck since the one that sprung a leak."

...then the ride gets fun. Then ya grips a fist full of hair and hold on fer 8 seconds - RODEO FUCKING! If it takes you more than 8 seconds, you're not doing it right.

Other than her and her sister (don't know the name) being rich I still don't know who they are. If I cared I'd investigate.

But really. Who fucking cares?

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-12-01 - 11:29 a.m.

iRock. iReally Do.

So the other night, my Woman calls me and asks if I want anything from the States while she�s there. So I shoot straight at the bull�s-eye, in jest...

�You could go over to the Mac Store and pick me up a 20GB iPod.�

�Is it cheaper here? How much more would you spend in Canada?�

I�uh�whu�um. I didn�t expect THAT reply. I didn�t know. I was setting myself up for a, �It�s fucking XMAS you Dillhole. We can�t go spending $600.00 on a glorified Walkman.�

So she calls me yesterday and axes me if I want the iPod! I say no, not yet, because I want to wait to see if the price drops anymore, and get to work and am telling a co-worker of mine that I�ll soon be buying an iPod.

�Hold onto that one. It�s about 80% that we�re going to get a 10GB iPod each for an Xmas bonus.�

So, this place rocks so fucking much, I�ll be getting my 1st Xmas bonus in a decade. We can get RRSPs, $500, or an iPod.

Duh. I need dead CRAZY SECKZY music now, godamnit!

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.