2003-12-03 - 11:13 p.m.

Someday, I'll Be a Creep Too.

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (MXC of course) has got to be one of THE best shows on TV.

There's very few things in this world FUNNIER than little Japanese folk in bizzare costumes hurting themselves in very bad ways, getting up and smiling.

The dub makes it that much better though. When I grow up I wanna be Guy LeDouche.

"Snotsicles." Gorgeous.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-12-03 - 9:39 p.m.

One Sappy Cunt.

What an incredibly fucking sad song �My Immortal,� by Evanescence is. I can�t get over the fact it ACTUALLY fucking makes me (ev�a�nesce: to grow less until completely gone) SAD! Shy of death and my last smoke, I NEVER FEEL SAD!

�You were always with me,

now I realize I�d been alone all along.�

This isn�t as sappy as it sounds. Now this may be the megalomaniac in my misogynist�s mind (who said alliteration is dead?) but this �guy� is gone. He was such a fucking presence in her life that it was only when he wasn�t there did she realize how much she lived through him. She�s so fucking empty she feels she�s goin� to give birth to her guts.

And if it doesn�t mean this, then it�s a helluva song to make me think this much from hearing it twice.

Seeing it, actually. SEXY fucking video. One of my all time favorites for sheer foxiness.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.

2003-12-03 - 9:09 p.m.

Time Travel With Your Host: Tony Kung.

The Bastard Monkeys in the Idea Workshop have been at it again. One of them must have picked up on my reading about theoretical time travel.

See, Einstein postulated that in places of extremes, like black holes for example, time can be closed in a loop. Extreme gravity distorts time, that is it distends it, spinning time into itself � a loop. Time travel.

They�re working on doing that right now, but with a powerful helix of lasers instead of those persnickety black holes.

So tonight I see this sign on a building a few blocks over from my digs, the sign says, �Kung Travel Services.� Remember what I said Kung Fu meant? �Time� and �Effort�? �Kung Travel�. That�s just fucking weirdly coincidental, no?

So the Idea is this. This guy makes something called �The Cascade.� It�s a time loop generator. Tony Kung built it in his spare time and hoped to (at some point in the future after he activated the thing) transport sub atomic particles, back to TODAY.

See, The Cascade is like a phone line that crosses time in that cascading loop. As long as it�s on, you can send stuff back though it. Nothing forward, and nothing before the contraption was activated can be affected with the cascade.

And �The Grandfather Paradox� doesn�t work in this story, because I�m sort of leaning towards the Multiverse Theory in which going back in time and killing your grandfather does not affect YOUR future. It affects one of the INFINITE parallel universes that are all spins of the same thing, at the same time.

But I digress.

Tony turns this Cascade on and instantly changes HIS time continuum. Within months, he�s sent back to himself instructions on how to extend the Cascade�s possibilities. Soon he has foolproof communication from the future to the past and THIS timeline gets a royal facial from the future dissatisfied.

Kung Travel Services soon becomes Kung Communications, an extremely powerful and well guarded link which makes Tony the most hated and desired mind in the waking world.

Yada-yada-yada. Fin.

Kinda neat, if�n I do say so meself.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.