2003-12-04 - 9:46 p.m.

Twitch This.

Now I know 99.8 percent of you vacuous worms have never seen a single episode of Twitch City. That�s not because yogurt has more culture than the average you, that�s because there was only about a dozen or so episodes and it aired on CBC. Every Canadian knows: Situation Comedy + CBC = slow media death.

I forgive your ignorance. This time.

Anyhow, the delicious Molly Parker�aw fuck it. CBC�s web page makes a better synopsis.

�Set in Toronto's Kensington Market, this series looks at the lives of a generation raised on television and Frooty-O's. The second season will reveal that Curtis (played by series creator Don McKellar) still loves TV and still can't leave the apartment-at least not in a conscious state. Meanwhile, his ex-roommate Nathan (Daniel MacIvor) is serving time in the slammer, where he and his job wheel are making plenty of friends, and Newbee (Callum Keith Rennie), the convenience store guru, continues to be at Curtis's side. As for Hope (Molly Parker)-who's now living with Curtis-she struggles through cake-making and paint-matching, trying to make something of her life.�

Tell me that doesn�t sound good. No�don�t. I don�t wish to be infuriated.

I relate with Curtis in a funny �I Know It�s A Fictional Fucking Character� kinda way. We both always seem to land on our feet. Things just happen to �fall into our laps�.

I�ve always been like that. Lucky, in a way. For ALL the fucking MIRE that is my fucking past, I�ve always make the best out of a situation.

That could be by determination, skill, intelligence, whatever - and I KNOW I have each of those in spades � but I don�t think it is.

I think that if you wait out a storm long enough, it�ll end sometime. They always do.

I guess I�m like Nero�s Fire Brigade Captain, profiting �till the fiery, shrapnel-spraying end.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.