2003-12-07 - 11:38 a.m.

More Fucking Xmas.

Xmas party was unusually fun. S�what happens when you work an orificeful of good looking young people, I suppose. Champagne at the door, a sizzlin� kinda Asian pasta bar, tapas, lotza grub. Lotza booze.

And a Murder Mystery me and Big Daddy won (well, all me � no him, but what the fuck). I wrote a full page story using some of the clues and made it into a Thompson/Bogartesque kinda thing. Later on I was talking with a couple of the actors and the MC said, �You weren�t even fucking CLOSE, but we were laughing so hard at it��

Copywriters? FUCK Copywriters. Motherfuckers takin� a knife to a gunfight, matching Ideas.

There�s this suit I work with, a 26 year old account exec (his daddy�s the CEO of a major financial institution here in Van), a real fucking twat. A prat. Always trying to prove himself. He doesn�t bother trying with me anymore. I hate fucking suits like him.

So anyhow, I was looking at some of the clues at the dark end of the bar with his very attractive Italian Barbie girlfriend and we were talking. For some strange reason she wouldn�t believe I wasn�t one of the cast. In my own defense I was in prime form Friday � sometimes you just get in that frame and you�re Robin Fucking Williams all night.

She was really touchy and giggly and it was only when she asked me, �So�do you like sex?� did I clue in that she was a Grade �A� hoor! Can�t say the question didn�t take me aback a bit. The convo went from, �Do you make a lot of money?� to leaning over, making sure I notice how low the front of her slinky black cocktail dress was cut, �Do you like my dress?�

I fucked with her head for a couple minutes, knowing it wasn�t goin� anywhere with me. It�s fun to play the wolf. Usually it�s the women doing it.

My gift was 15 Kinder Eggs, wrapped in Maxim magazine wrapping paper � all asses and cleavage. Lubbly. The card (of naked womens) said, �I asked around and found out that you are a hateful bastard with no joy in his life except for porn and Tom Waits. Seeing you probably have all the above, here�s chocolate eggs with toys inside. Don�t swallow the toy. Save that for Monday.�

I duuno who it was�but it was funny as hell. People are so rabidly uncensored with me. I love that.

0 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

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