2003-12-16 - 11:17 p.m.

Fuck Moderation in the Bum.

I was talkin� to a friend tonight and he was saying how he�s been on one long bender for the last 4 days.

�Everything in moderation, right?� He laughs.

The word stuck in my throat like a pube. �Moderation? FUCK moderation! Moderation�s for fucking conservatives and cowards. If you�re gonna do it, do it ALL and say you did. God hates a coward and all that shit.�

We both laughed at my new epiphany and were simultaneously silenced by it�s gravity.

�That�s my new fucking creed, �Fuck moderation�� I say, without it needing to be said. It�s one quality we have in common.

But seriously, lets think what fucking moderation in the starfish has accomplished. Moderate sailors chart lakes � Explorers say �Fuck what the map says,� and discover Newfoundland.

Moderate thinkers teach principles � Great minds say �Fuck what your teachers say,� and show us the promise of Super String Theory.

Moderate people don�t drink festering liquids � Ancient Egyptian Moderation Rapists thought that the festering liquid tasted unbelievably refreshing - like something he might someday call �beer�.

Of course to hear the tune ya has to pay the piper, but it�s worth it. I remember how boring my �average and nicely domestic� life was. If, to bed with you tonight, you take nothing else that doesn�t vibrate or need to be wiped up with Kleenex, take this:

Moderation will get you fucking NOWHERE very fucking FAST.

Fuck moderation.

5 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

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