2003-12-20 - 12:40 a.m.

Fuck THIS Fuckin' Fuckos!

Like there was a fucking doubt:

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But on a serious note, there was a time where I was Lieutenant Road Fucking Rage and used to look forward to fuckers rolling up on my driver�s-side window ready to go.

I had a friend who had his eye punched clean out of his head at a McDonalds drive-through, right through his window, while a 2nd held him back by his seatbelt through the rear window.

Cause of that, I drive with a 14� prybar within hands reach. I�ve never come out swinging with it, but I�ve drawn blood stabbing at stupid fuckers through my window with the sharp end, twice. No fucking way in hell I�m going down like Paul.

That was back in the days of the Angry Shade. Back in the days of whiskey and hoors. But like Clint said in Unforgiven, �But I�m not like that no more.�

Part of the reason is because of the following short and nigh-violent anecdote:

Back in Toronto, I was driving home along Bloor West, after a 15 hour day. Some fucking yahoo GOB (Good �ol Boy) in a beat-ass fucking truck cuts across 2 lanes and comes about a half a car length from me. No real damage, but I lay on the horn and give the fucker every obscene gesture I could possibly recall.

Then I notice we�re coming to a red light. The truck is about 500 metres ahead, stops, backs up and stops again on my passenger side.

A motherfucker with a farmer�s foam front hat and three fucking teeth leans out his window - with a pistol cocked movie-gangsta� style at me.

What could I do? Car behind, car in front, I put my hand on the door handle and pulled it, ready to bolt.

�You better watch with the finger if you know what�s good fer you.�

And he drives off. Through the red.

And from that moment on, I reserved the finger for fuckers who really, really, really fucking deserve it. Sometimes, death is no excuse not to flip someone the fucking bird.

�But I�m not like that no more.� Those REAL days of rage are long over. I came through and over and around to the other fucking side. And am a fuck of a lot more level-headed now � IF you can believe that.

THIS is the fucking calm, reserved Son. You really wouldn�t have liked the old Really Fucking Off His Fucking Kilt Shade. He wasn�t a very nice person.

�But I�m not like that no more.�

To all you mewling 20ish people�it gets better. As long as you don�t hide behind yer fucking insecurities and don�t get fucking corralled in with the mass of the herd, yeah. Shit really does get better with age.

Of course maybe it�d take longer for you �normal family� fuckers. Or maybe faster, I dunno. I�ve been on my own since I was 15 and so have an obviously somewhat shifty (or at least biased) moral foundation. So it�s most likely it�s, etceteras.

�what the fuck am I going on about? Jebus Fucking Christ. Has to be the drugs.

If you�ll escuse me and fuck off, Spiderman is on.

Gettin' high, bumpin' uglies and watchin toons on a Friday night is funner than it sounds.

4 of you fuckers have been accounted for.

old shit. - newer shit.