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2004-01-03 - 12:34 p.m.

Urban Infrastructure Hacking

Friday night and nothing to do? One word = fun: Infiltration.

Urban infrastructure hacking, B&E, infiltration, call it what you want, but it�s what we do when we see something that needs esplorin�. Still in the dark? Well, you ever drive by a strange looking complex and wonder what�s inside? We don�t wonder. We wait �till the wee hours of the morning and look for ourselves.

Infiltration. It�s what computer hackers do, but on an urban scale. They devise methods to keep us from seeing what they are doing, we circumvent those methods and tell them we did. That way they learn. It�s all in the greater interest of public good � really.

Last night it was an Aircraft Graveyard and a cement plant. Sounds boring, right? Yeah, boring fer the people who don�t have to deactivate electric fences, motion detectors, spot lights and fucknot. The fun�s in the details. �Course it�s so dangerous we could have done last nights movements in daylight, but that�s not the point. Getting all Navy Seal (more like Navy Sea Lion) �n shit is fun!

But the fucking fun part of last night was leaving the cement compound, four of us walking up the bottom of Oak Street, dressed in combat pants and darkness waving at the Rent �a Cop as we pass. She wasn�t gonna say shit to 4 guys.

�Backup should be here soon.� And it was. A little brown security car with one RaC inside. Fuck them. We were now officially doing shit and knew as much. We start to set up the tripod�

�when the first cop car rolls up. A cute female cop rolls her window down, �What you guys up to tonight?�

�Location scouting for Judge Dread II,� I say. J continues, �Yeah, we�re takin some photos, got some coloured gels and filters, just arsing around, y�know?�

�OK guys, stay out of trouble.� And the two roll down towards the RaC car and the solo RaC. Lets count together: 4 suspicious looking 30�s, 4 �peace� orificers.

We take some photos of us in the 40� wall of cement pipes.

Another squad car rolls up and down to the glut of public safety.

Then a Paddy Wagon.

Then another squad.

So lets take a fucking tally here: 4 jaywalkers in the middle of fucking nowhere, and at LEAST 10 motherfucking coppers and 2 security watching us�take pictures. It�s a good fucking thing they�d cleared the fucking crime off East Hastings up before they came all the way down to watch us 4 take pictures at a place that has NO secrets.

They watch us for 10 minutes. They watch us take pictures of them. They�re so nice, their squad cars stay perfectly still as J leaves the shutter open for 20 seconds a shot (dark) to record all 5 cars and 10-12 cops.

Bored, we leave. And they follow.

We get into our truck. And they follow.

We pull up to the first stoplight, turning left. They are about to stop following and pull up next to us, but J takes the old cop�s picture, blinding him with the flash. And they follow.

They follow for 15 minutes. 15 minutes of fucking laugher, of course. We�d done fuck all they could prove and they knew it. Drive 51 in a 50, though and we were sure they�d bust us. It was fucking hilarious at the driver�s expense. He had to drive under the microscope, it was funny, cause it wasn�t me.

What is even funnier is that D the Driver called his truck STOLEN when he got back home. STOLEN! Why is this funny? Because 10 FUCKING COPS HAD BEEN WATCHING US! They SAW the car. They RAN the tags. WE TOOK THEIR PICTURES! And now they think the truck was stolen!

THAT, my weepy, droop-holes, is comedy. Of course, today D the Driver called it in a drunken misplacing mistake, but it would have been fucking great to be a fly on the wall at the station:

�You SAW the truck? Did you see the perps?�

�Uh�yeah. They, ah, were taking pictures.�

�Pictures? Of what?�

�Uh�of uh�us.�

�You?�

�Yeah�and of cement too.�

�Cement. For how long?

�Uh�20 minutes or so?�

�These guys took pictures and waved at a dozen coppers for 20 minutes? Did you follow them?�

�After they took our picture again, yeah.�

�You�re so FUCKING STUPID! WHY DIN�T YOU PULL EM OVER!?!�

�They weren�t breaking the law!�

�Fucking laws�.�

Eheheheh. Only stupid people get busted. Stupid people and people who ACTUALLY GET CAUGHT BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW.

Infiltration. Try it someday. It�s a fucking rush.


Spit it OUT, Snapperhead!

3 of you fuckers have been accounted for.


old shit. - newer shit.


Y'can't Keep a Fringe Man Down. - 2005-08-03
So Long, Fucko's. - 2004-02-02
Feedback. - 2004-01-31
Chapter 1 - Clang-Bang - 2004-01-30
The Tattooed Infant - 2004-01-29

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